If you were unfortunate enough to read of my blog
submissions in the Letters to November series, you’ll have noticed (as I did)
that I have a very ambiguous relationship with light and the lack thereof in
the winter months. This morning, I tried
to take a picture to show it, but my camera on my mobile wasn’t good enough to
show it off. I had a very peculiar
experience. Or rather the lack of clouds
allowed me to appreciate it. Or maybe it
was the lack of frost and the lack of clouds that allowed me to appreciate it… I digress…
I set to walk to work and I was struck by how light it
was. Now then, don’t misunderstand me,
it wasn't beautiful glorious day light, nor was it a perfectly clear sky. However, between the clouds, the sky was
indeed a lighter hue of blue than I’m used to at 7am. I quite enjoyed it. The way the clouds changed on my way to work,
I was constantly headed towards the light.
That sounds a little too much like an allegory for a near death
experience and whilst going to work is far from the most pleasant of experiences,
I wouldn’t compare it to shuffling the mortal coil.
For some reason that I can’t quite explain, that experience
of moving towards the light has lightened my mood in the darker moments (and
there have been a fair few) of my day.
Somewhere between several urgencies and a severe lack of tea
in the equation, by the time I was making for the door at 5pm, my head was
killing me. I was relieved somewhat by
the fresh air, but nonetheless, the day had dampened my spirits. It had been incredibly busy and more work had
stayed on my desk than had crossed it completed. As much as I’m trying to adopt a better
approach, I can’t help enjoying a clear desk and a near-empty email inbox. It’s just who I am.
But for the second time in the day, the clouds were far from
complete. The wind was at my back and it
seemed so much to me that the sky was brighter than it has been at that time
when I’m heading home. Once again I was
walking towards the light.
I have no doubt that a geographer or an astronomer would
tell me that it’s to do with our position in the northern hemisphere and the
season combining with the convenient location of my house to the hospital (I
was headed east this morning and headed west this evening). Boo hiss.
I was greeted by light as I started my day and it welcomed me home this
evening. I like that.
In other news, I have finally reached another benchmark of
adulthood. I have decorated my first
Christmas tree. Not alone I hasten to
add. My exceptionally artistic (and
patient) sister http://blog.pageinmyhistory.co.uk/, helped me massively, even providing the decorations. It has made the whole room feel festive and
helped me welcome in the season a little more than I would usually. The thought occurred to me whilst I sat in
the dark with just the lights on later on Saturday evening, that if I’m going
to allow myself to be miserable in the lead up to my birthday (with bloody good
reason!) I might have to rethink my attitude towards Christmas. January is the month that I nearly died in
when I was 15 and I really don’t want to spend a whole quarter of the year
being full of misery and dread. It took
me 9 years to get through January without feeling very maudlin. Maybe in a few years I can get through December
and look forward to Christmas for the duration…
 |
| Merry Christmas to me. Picture taken by http://blog.pageinmyhistory.co.uk/ 13.12.14 |
All that said… Christmas really should be confined to
December.
Lots of Love to you all and happy holidays.
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