Is it really though?

When I started this blog, I called it Ranting to Release because it’s something I do a lot; I get things off my chest in the form of a rant.  It isn’t something that I really have been doing on this blog. 

But today, world, I have something that I really want to get off my chest.  It is the smallest of things, hardly even noticeable to most of the English speaking world.  I have noticed.  I cannot be the only one… Can I?  Let us begin with a dictionary definition:

in a way that is easily perceived or understood; clearly

(Taken from Google.com).

Are you with me yet?  No.  Is it clear to you?  Is it something that you know… Something… Maybe… OBVIOUS?  Ah!  With me now are you?  Good.  Was it obvious?  No, it wasn’t, obviously. 

There, that last sentence, right there!  That!  My rage lies in that one overused word.  When did it become okay for almost every sentence we construct to be littered with this word?  Worst of all, its ill placed most of the time! 

Is there anything more frustrating than someone explaining something to you like you’re an educational throwback into infant school?  Quite a lot of things actually, but still, it is incredibly annoying.  No one likes to be patronised. 

So, dear English speaking world, someone please explain to me how this word has ended up worming its way in to everything people say nowadays?  It makes the speaker sound instantly obnoxious and rude.  The person on the receiving end feels like a moron.  Everyone is at it.

“Obviously that is something we need to look into.”  If it is obvious why weren’t you looking into it before someone brought it up?  Is it clear and easily perceived?  Obvious?  Obviously not!

In a recent phone call with my bank, the following sentence was uttered by the customer service representative I spoke to:  “We’re doing everything we can to resolve your complaint, obviously, Mr Edwards.”  Is that to say you’re doing it in an obvious way or that it should be obvious to me that you’re doing that?  How would I know?  Can I see what you’re doing?  Do I know how you progress my complaint to my end-satisfaction?    Is it easily perceived and understood by me to know how you do your day-to-day job?  No, it is not.  So why say it?

(In this instance, fair is fair; the poor guy I was speaking to was using English as his second language.  He also didn’t know that the particular word he seasoned the end of the sentence with has become one of my biggest irritations.)

Why are there so many people wandering around stating the obviousness-of-the-not-so-bloody-obvious?  Who is responsible for this?  Obviously, I want an explanation as to how they came to believe everything was so bloody obvious.  Obviously, I’m not psychic and the rest of the world is. 

The thing that most hacks me off about this abuse of the word “obviously” - I’ve been robbed of my oral sarcasm.  One of my favourite ways to deploy sarcasm in every day conversation is that word… No more!  It’s lost all of it’s charm.  No one bats an eye any more.  The word has been so down trodden and battered about, I can’t even be sarcastic with it.

Here is my plea; stop it!  If we all band together and agree to put the word back where it belongs - my personal sarcastic uses and to state when something really is clear and easily perceived - conversation would be a much friendlier place.  

And so ends my rant.

Good Excuses, Realistic Expectations and Patrick 08.06.14

Good excuses have a limited duration.  I can let myself get away with certain things under specific circumstances.  I will try, however, and extend that self-leniency for as long as I can.   When I was younger, this could go on for days, weeks, months, (for some things) even years.  Part of the problem with being more honest with myself – regularly writing in a diary and confronting the elephants in my mental-room – is that I don’t get the leniency for anywhere near as long.  It’s somewhat frustrating to me because I don’t get to blame anything or anyone apart from myself; being a grown up blows. 

It isn't without its huge upsides though.  I get to do more because I'm not constantly procrastinating.  I can only get away with that for so long and I'm happier as a result.  I find I do less manic-running-around-trying-to-get-everything-done-in-bulk, which eventually leaves me stressed, shattered and subdued.  I won’t want to do anything after all that.  It’s just easier if I work at things slowly and systematically.  I guess it’s a good thing I don’t get to keep my excuses for as long any more.

The problem with this “can and will do” attitude is that when you sit down to do something like- oh, I don’t know? – update your blog that you haven’t touched in some time, you feel the guilt from the excuses you’ve made that have resulted in nothing happened.  I inevitably think of the wasted time where I could have done something better; how many films have I watched where I could have been doing something better, like my blog, or working on my short fiction or writing poetry, painting, drawing?  So many things I could –and probably should have been doing – but I haven’t.

It’s a double edged sword.

What am I really talking about?  I'm talking about the excuse I gave myself of having moved house.  Yes, Internet, I have moved house.  I've left the house where I was in Preston and I've come back to my home town, where I work and where my Mum lives.  Things are considerably easier.  I live within walking distance of where I work, the local amenities are great and I'm not far from town.  It has been a big adjustment though.  The situation has forced me to face certain things; my terrible ability to control a budget, the obsessive-compulsive tendencies I have around cleaning and certain things being orderly, my stress levels and my Gran dying.  Worst of all, the way they all tie in together in some weird little mess in my head.

My sister likes to invite me over when she has necklaces and bracelets knotted together.  I will sit for hours and undo the tiny knots and pull them apart, usually with tweezers.  Several cups of tea, a lot of patience and concentration later, I’ll end up with separate, distinct pieces of jewellery along with a bucket of gratitude from her.  What I'm doing with the bundles of stuff in my head is not dissimilar to this situation; it requires no less concentration, patience or tea for that matter.  It’s difficult and uncomfortable.  It has to be done though and I am happier as a result.

Somewhere in all of that though, I have allowed myself a free pass to not do things that I don’t need to do, like working on my short fiction or updating this blog.  I have a tendency to be way too hard on myself.  The week I was packing to move, I set myself a list of things to do.  None of those things had anything to do with packing or moving.  None of them involved cardboard boxes or parcel tape.   Did I get a single one of them done?  Did I heck!  Did I start to beat myself up for it?  Of course I did!  I realised not long after I began how ridiculous that was.  Who has time to do anything towards their writing project when they have more books than the local library that need packing?  It was an unrealistic and pointless expectation of myself.  I do it a lot.  The problem is, I see-saw from high expectations to excuses in abundance for doing nothing.   The bigger issue is as well, despite some self-worth concerns before I sit down to write anything, I enjoy what I’m doing right now.  It chills me out and I enjoy doing it, so why wouldn't I do it? 

Amongst my other goals for this year, one of the bigger ones and a later addition to the mix, was the realisation that a lot of things in my life zig-zag from one extreme to the other.  The last time I lived alone, I craved company because I felt so alone, but when I had it, I needed the solitude because I couldn't handle it.  I plough through a video game for a week and wonder why I haven’t made any progress on the painting I was doing or the short story I wanted to work on.  I stay up late, not paying attention to the time and get up late for work the next day.  This year, as much as my goals are to write more, read more and many other things (like living alone – tick!), I also strive to find balance; between my private time and the time I spend with those I love; between writing, reading, watching that never ending list of films and shows I want to see; between work and home life.  Striking the balance.  I have no doubt I am not the only one in the world who has and will struggle with this.  I suspect that my hunt for this balance will never be completed.  Knowing how life can be, the moment I strike that balance, something beyond my control will tilt me in one direction and I’ll have to balance up again.  I'm going to have to work on this for the rest of my life.  I'm OK with that.

I'm happier than I've been in years.  I have a huge project to work on – getting my house exactly the way I want it – amongst the other things I want to achieve.  I've also managed to make a new friend.  His name is Patrick.  Say hello to the Internet, Patrick.

Amongst all this though, I'm happier and more aware that I need to strike the balance.  Any balance I do achieve, I want to have all the things I've talked about above (particularly the cups of tea) but all at the right time and in their proper place.  I do love a challenge.