Saturday 19 April 2014

Computer game addiction and the love of lists. 19.04.14

I had a really good day last Sunday.  I was productive.  I went to town to get things I needed.  I got some computer games swapped at a second hand electronics shop that proved just how awesome they were by continuing to be awesome.  I came home and did my washing, cleaned up the house and did some work on an art project.  I accomplished all of this in a few short hours and was incredibly proud of myself.  I like to feel productive in and out of work.   Everyone needs some time to be lazy sometimes and do as little as possible.  Most of the time though, I feel like I haven’t done anything when I waste time like that, so my aim is always to do as much as I can.  I may have previously mentioned how much I love a good list.  I'm a huge fan of lists (mostly, because I have a terrible memory so if I make a shopping list – and look at it –then I come home with what I need or list what I need to do in a day, I get a huge positive-attitude-boost from ticking things off as I complete them.  It’s how I roll). 

Part of The Artists Way by Julia Cameron is to complete tasks within the week, write every day and complete a check-in each way to see how your week has gone.  Since completing the book and having no prescribed list of things to do in my free time for the next seven days, I had to start making my own.  I rewrote her check-in questions to reflect my New Year’s Resolutions for 2014 and included a goals and targets section for each week.  The idea of this was to make sure that I didn't sit around on my laurels doing nothing.  Despite knowing that one of the things I want to do most is write, if I don’t set it as my target for the week, I don’t get it done.  There are a great many things that I wasn't to do – little, silly things, like go through my clothes and towels and get rid of the shabby stuff - that because they've not occurred on my check-in goals, they haven’t been done.  It doesn't always work that way but, for the most part, without a list, I'm pretty much lost.

Just re-read what I did last weekend… Done?  Good.  Now re-read the title… Done?  Good!

Despite having a set, prescribed list of things to do this week, something went wrong.   Not “wrong” but not as planned.  Part of the reason I stopped playing computer games last year was because I realised, long before I discovered how much I love to make lists, was that they stop me getting as much done.   That said, I have been conflicted of late; there are so many things I want to do with my time, having a job stops me doing a lot of them, like back-to-backing the whole of Breaking Bad in a matter of days or watching the last few seasons of Dexter, or watching all the Harry Potter films again.  I have to make a choice about what I do with the time I have.  I’d started to find I was hardly watching anything any more.  I don’t do well any more with writing and having something to watch on in the background.  I used to be.  But not any more.  Such is life.  I was starting to make myself feel bad for watching my beloved Once Upon a Time; it wasn't working on my short stories or writing a blog or finishing a book and that was bad.

Wait a minute.

Is it wrong to enjoy doing things?  No, Michael, of course it isn't.  If I'm enjoying doing what I'm doing and not sat staring out of a window is that so bad?  No, don’t be daft!  Why are you making yourself feel bad then?  No answer came my reply.  The internal thought process didn't go exactly like that, but it wasn't far off.  Why should I feel bad for doing something I enjoy doing?  There isn't any hard there at all… Surely?

Wrong.

I have an issue in my life with balance.  Sometimes, I can be a bit – what phrase works best? – “all or nothing”.  That has been the problem in the last week.  Given the title and the paragraph I drew your attention to, I'm sure you can see where this is going.  I have been obsessed with Fable 2 for the last six days.  When I haven’t been at work, seeing my family or making tea, I've been playing Fable.  “Where’s the harm in that?” I hear you cry!  Is there anything particularly bad about completing a game between Sunday afternoon and Saturday morning?  No.  Course not.  The Devil is in the details.  I've been going to bed later and later all week.  Anyone who knows me at all knows I don’t do well with less than my needed amount of sleep.  Last night, I got home from a day out close to 10 pm. I loaded up my Xbox 360 and shut it down again six hours later at 4 am. 

It makes me a little sad at 27 I still haven’t managed to get the balance right in my life that allows me to watch movies, write my stories and blog, listen to music, make art and read books, along with anything else I might like to do.  This is relatively new to me though.  In the last six months, I've come to a big appreciation of what I enjoy doing with my time.  That in mind, I suppose it’s only natural that the balance between them all goes “wibbly” from time to time. 

Borrowed without permission from http://www.pinterest.com/pin/439452876112477645/


At this very moment, I can see Batman: Arkham City looking at me reproachfully, almost begging me to start it.  In light of everything I just said, I think it’s better for all concerned (mostly me) if I just move it out of my line of sight for a while.  After all, I really do want to finish reading that book and writing that short story… I don’t know when I turned on my TV… or when I turned on my Xbox… Oh, here we go again!


Authors Note:  After I finished this, I made a cup of tea, finished my short story I've been working on for far too long, edited another blog which I've posted today, finished the book I wanted to and edited this blog.  I can be productive when I put my mind to it!

No comments:

Post a Comment