Despite promising myself I would write on my blog more often…
Well, it’s been a while. Welcome back
me!
In a flippant comment to a friend via text, I realised that
the first thing I do when I get stressed out is stop. Stop being stressed? No, no.
That consumes my life. I carry it
around like a huge train-spotter coat, soaking wet, dragging me down like a
lead weight. I mean I stop everything
else. I stop doing things I should do
that make my life easier – I don’t cook well for myself and in some rare
occasions, I don’t eat at all (Things have to be really dire for my appetite to
subside); I don’t keep on top of the housework; I don’t go to the super market
and buy the food that I won’t eat or bother to cook; I don’t speak to my
friends about it.
I do manage to watch a ridiculous amount of media though;
YouTube, Netflix, DVDs –of which I have many.
This might not sound like the worst thing in the world. I am, after all, a lover of the visual
medium, so what’s wrong with my indulging in some escapism?
Most of what I do for fun is some manner of escapism:
I draw or paint – Don’t like the world you’re in? Make a new one!
I take photographs – find a moment you like and keep it
forever.
I write – a whole new world for me to play in; one I’m in
control of… It’s a good job I’m not in therapy or that one sentence would have
cost me a fortune.
I listen to music – transported out of your world in to
another, carried by the tune and images conjured by someone else.
Almost anything and everything I do as a hobby or to pass
the time is some manner of escapism. One
would think that a sensible thing to do in a time of stress would be to throw
oneself headlong into such a blissful state of existence. No.
Not if you’re me. Why on EARTH
would I do something so calming and cathartic?
I’ll just turn my brain off and stare at Pinterest for a few hours,
ignoring the pile of ironing I’m not doing…
No hypocrisy at all considering what I’m doing as I type is actively
avoiding the ironing.
I digress.
For some reason, as soon as life (work in particular) starts
to get on top of me, I stop everything else I’m doing. I have to admit in the last year, I haven’t
been shutting my friends out. That is a
conscious and active effort on my part.
I don’t want to keep people out when things are crappy. That’s the worst idea I’ve ever had. If I’m sulking, cocooning under a blanket is
totally acceptable. If I’m having a
conflict between the idealised version of reality I want and the one I have to put
up with, why not tell people about it?
They’re meant to love me for exactly who I am… Poor fools that they are.
Reading? I’ve been
nursing the same book for over a month.
Writing? I’ve written
less than a thousand words in July.
Drawing? I’ve drawn
an eye. Woop.
Photography? I've taken a single picture - here it is; a coat I saw (and couldn't afford) in the Trafford Centre a few days ago.
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What point am I trying to make? I suppose I’m trying to share something that
I very much doubt I’m alone in doing.
The media seems to have managed to convince us that trials
and suffering are a good thing. In the
end we will get what we want if we keep striving for it. If we give in, we lose everything. Screw the media – religion is where that
little myth started. Whilst we’re striving
and yearning and aching towards our brighter tomorrow, I doubt I’m the only
person who stops giving myself those things that I like and enjoy; baths, escapism
through reading and writing, enjoying the scenery through a camera, throwing
paint around and making pretty shapes.
Whatever it is that floats your boat on a day to day basis, I can almost
guarantee that it will be one of the first things you ditch when the going gets
tough.
Sounds very Catholic to me.
My solution; be mindful of how you spend your time. I’m a bugger for this. I can hear Brave Frontier (immensely addictive
game, available on the iTunes App Store for the iPhone 5) whispering to me as I
type. I procrastinate, promising myself
I’ll get round to doing something in a minute… That minute never comes. The book doesn’t move off my side table. I stop writing in my diary. The food in my fridge goes off. Worse than all of that, I console myself that
the progress I’ve made on my app-game is ACTUAL progress. Be mindful of what you are spending your time
avoiding doing. Why? Because it makes you happy? Worst reason to stop doing anything in my
opinion.
Another solution; force yourself to do the things you don’t
want to do. Easier said than done. I know.
I’m lazy when miserable. Getting
off my butt to urinate can be a huge effort some days (In fact, when I’m being
incredibly lazy, I’ll wait for the desire to drink tea combines with my need to
evacuate my bladder). Truth be told, the
more we do, the more we want to do. We
gather momentum and it helps us be more productive because we are already being
productive. It helps and gives
motivation. Start with something little
and an easy win. Work your way up to the
big things or the ones you really would rather avoid. Make sure you flavour your time with
something you really love to do. Ironing
to do? Read a chapter of your book when
you’re finished. Laundry to put
away? Write a blog post and share
it.
I hope all of you out there have had a lovely weekend and
are optimistic for the week ahead.
Me? I’m hopeful. And now, I’ve got ironing to do.
Best Wishes. xx
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