Recently, I had a crisis; I realised a lot of the people
that Facebook had conned me into calling friends were, in fact, not. Nothing against them, but they really didn’t fit
any of the major criteria for friendship; you know, the usual stuff; getting in
touch, returning texts or giving a flying fuck. I
gutted my Facebook account of my “fake friends” and went from over 300 to less
than 100. I did the same thing to my
contact list in my phonebook (If I have your number, it’s a hell of a lot
easier for me to find you now! The two
reasons, in order:
1. Cutting dead wood. Now it might sound a little cruel to
disregard people so lightly. Ultimately,
I see Facebook and all other manner of social mediums of communication as just that. However, there is an element of laziness to
them. If you want to check up on
someone, you can check their posts and leave a comment… along with everyone
else. It leaves a little to be desired
for the fundamentals of human connection.
Just remember 100 years ago, the main mode of communication across long
distances was still “snail mail”. I
cannot remember the last time I sent a letter.
2. I wanted to see if they noticed. Yes, I know. How adolescent of me! But I’m being honest. I wondered if any of them would get in touch with
me and check in I was disappointed by
reminded myself that I knew there was a
slim to nil chance they ever would.
Don’t misunderstand me,
I’m not bitter in the slightest.
I will even admit to being somewhat lonely on occasion, but I remind
myself that the friends I do still keep from “before the purge”, whilst many
are far away are still friends and I value and treasure that.
Whilst I was thinking about all this, I did begin to ponder
about “The Others”. Who are they you
might ask? These are the people who I
have met via various online modes of communication, who know plenty about me,
check in with me regularly, but who I have never met. Can I call these people from the internet my “friends”?.
It’s a difficult one, I’ll grant you. But when you break it down, one of my best
friends in the world lives in Kent and she pointed out that we haven’t seen each
other since early November. We keep in
touch, despite my developing allergy to telephone calls outside of business
hours.
With the internet being so prevalent in our day to day
lives, there is a certain ease that comes with friendships. We can get in touch with those we choose at
any moment for a genuine connection, even if it is miles apart. And when you look at it like that, it isn’t so
different from snail mail.
I choose to call these people my friends and I hope they
would think of me the same. Despite
communication being a doddle in the modern world, I think we should all admit
that sitting down for a brew and a catch up is preferred to the rapid thumb
movements across a touch screen keyboard. I’m going to make an effort to meet
up with some of my new friends and keep in better touch with some of my old
ones. Don’t send a bullshit chain email
to everyone in your address book saying how much they mean to you! Make an effort through whatever means you have
at your disposal.
Image borrowed from zomm.com
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