Dear November,
Today was my
first day back at work after being off for a week. Something has really changed for me and it
was never more obvious than today. I
wasn’t happy to be going back after being off; given the choice, I don’t think
there are very many days where I’d leave the house if I had enough milk and tea
bags! But I wasn’t filled with dread as
I walked up the hill. I had lots to do
after being off for a week – same as usual.
But that hasn’t even stressed me out.
I’ve known for a long while that I get less done the stressed out I am;
I flap. I get little done and I just
flap and get none of it done, which is more stressful. None of that today, November. And I got so much done! Don’t get me wrong, I still have more to do,
but it felt good.
All of that
said, taking up communion with my sofa cushions and watching some TV, with a
brew in one hand and the remote in the other… Ahhhhhh sweet Sanctuary. It never feel more wonderful to be home than
after being at work for the day. But
something about being curled up the TV on just hasn’t hit the spot
tonight. I’ve done some rearranging of
playlists on Spotify and now, I’m quite happy to be listening to music and
writing this to you, even though I know I’m really not saying anything
important. I suppose it’s more for me
that I’m writing this.
The thing
that sort of worries me? I’ve not kept
up with writing this every day, but I’m
made a good job of trying – the best that can be hoped for in my book! But I worry I won’t keep up with my blog when
I don’t feel like I ought to
write. I’m more lazy than I would like
to admit, November. That’s the
true. I get made at myself for being
that way and then things happen. But it
would be so much easier if I didn’t have to be frustrated with myself for not
doing something and just crack on and do it instead.
I don’t want
to stagnate again; doing NaNoWriMo and this… it makes it easier to write, just
though writing more. Maybe it’s the discipline
of just writing, even though I don’t know what to say. The thing I’m appreciating more and more is
that every time I don’t know how to say something or what to say at all, it’s a
lie – I do, I just can’t find the words to sat it right. And that’s the wonder of editing. Why stress out about the few words that I
know aren’t right when I can go back and fix it later?
Anyway, I’m
out of tea and it’s getting on for bed time.
Take care and sleep well, November.
No comments:
Post a Comment